Two strokes with death
by Sprogster85
Summary: When Lily confesses to Hisao while standing in the wheat field, he has another stroke with death.


A/N: My first attempt at a Katawa Shoujo Fanfiction. I'm not sure I'll do anymore. This was simply an idea that came to me while being unable to complete my God Eater fanfiction. Anyway, this story takes place when Hisao wakes up after having a brush with death while walking to town with Lily and Hanako in Hokkaido.

I open my eyes groggily, completely bereft of energy. For a while, I simply lie down lifelessly, staring at the ceiling as I review the events of the morning in an attempt to organise my thoughts. We went to walk to down. My heart nearly gave way. We came back. I took my pills. I slept. I can only remember each period of time as a snapshot, but the timeline is clear enough. The memory of the girls' faces as I struggled to stand is an unpleasant one, stinging my feelings harshly. If I look at the ceiling hard enough, I can imagine the tile edges and small dimples of the ceiling in the hospital. That fact alone is enough to make me sit up and try to pull myself together. I scratch the back of my dishevelled hair, glancing around the room. Lily and Hanako are nowhere to be seen, and the television's turned off. The clock above it says it's pretty late in the afternoon. The noticeably reddened sky outside the windows confirms it further. I turn and pick myself off the futon, swaying slightly as I put my arms out for balance. I suppose I'd better go look for the girls to see if they're… all right… As I look out the window, I faintly see something in the distance. Straining my eyes, I can just make out the shape of a person's figure. Her long blonde hair, swaying in the faint breeze, makes her almost seem to melt into the bright yellow of the wheat field. Without a second though, I leave the rom to follow that lone apparition.

The brightness of the setting sun assaults my freshly woken eyes, forcing me to avert them until they adjust. The long, yellow strands of wheat brush against my legs as I wade through them, the densely-grown field making it hard to advance. Regardless, my eyes stay fixed ahead, true to that solitary figure. Within minutes I reach her, metres behind her turned back.

"Lily?" I speak up and make the figure aware of my presence, but also to take her out of any thoughts she may be having as she looks down upon the continuous stretch of wheat fields. The girl simply nods. "Where's Hanako?" I would have thought Hanako would be with Lily wherever she goes. Especially since Lily had only recently returned from visiting her family in Scotland.

"She's in bed. She went to sleep after I calmed her down." She speaks calmly. Her words concern me. Hanako was so freaked out at my little episode that she went to sleep straight after it in order to escape the reality of the situation. I hope she isn't dreaming about me. The fact that she says it matter-of-factly and with as few words as possible, as if saying any more was strictly forbidden also concerns me. I'd like nothing more than to ignore my most recent episode, but the fact that Lily and Hanako saw me at my weakest concerns me greatly. There's something different about the girl in front of me. Her normally confident figure seems oddly fragile, her body offering no resistance to the breeze blowing her skirt. The strands of wheat stray from side to side while a deafening pause passes, the only sound being their rustling. As we stand in the field alone, I know what I have to ask.

"What's wrong, Lily? You're not acting like you usually do."

"Remember when I talked of my family, Hisao?" She asks me suddenly and I try to bring myself to remember when she did.

"Your family…" I look downwards in thought, sifting trough my scattered memories. The event seems to leap ready to hand when I search for it, rising to the surface as soon as it was recalled. "After Hanako's birthday party?" My words seem like more of a question as I ask for reassurance that it was indeed after Hanako's birthday party that Lily wants me to remember. Her single, simple nod is all I need to confirm it is.

"It was nice… back then. You and I, celebrating with Hanako. Simply sharing presents, talking, having fun together. It was almost as if we were a family. One small, misshapen family." I can almost hear the love in her voice and the longing for that moment. "I thought that could just go on forever. The three of us, happily together." As quickly as it appeared, the longing and love disappears. She takes a long breath, a slight shakiness to it just barely audible through the moving air. "Even I my family was so far away… as long as we were together, that was all I needed. I don't want to lose you, Hisao." Her confession startles me slightly and I'm sure I can feel my heart picking up in pace. "I didn't even realise how afraid I was of losing someone else until today. Until…" My incident. I thought that my episode would have had some lingering effect on the girls, but to hear Lily say that… The Lily that is usually so calm and collected, and to hear her voice wobble as she says that. It pains me.

"I'm sorry, lily. I know my body's weak, but even then I make the most stupid of mistakes." Like forgetting to take my medication. I place a hand over my chest and still feel a fast heartbeat. I'd be lying if I said that after having multiple episodes that I'm not scared that I can die at any moment. What scares me even more though is that I could die in front of Lily if I can't keep my heart under control.

"Don't apologise… Please don't apologise…" She sounds so sad but I don't know why.

"Lily…?" She turns to face me, her pale cheeks stained with tears. It pains me to see she has been crying for me, but it also makes me feel happy that she cares enough to cry. One misguided step after another, she stumbles towards me, her arms held out in search of so much as a faint brush against me. I remove my arm from my chest and help guide Lily towards me. I can feel my heart racing and punding as I step towards Lily, gently taking and steadying her in my arms as she quickly clutches to me, sobbing. The sight of the girl I care the most about crying in my arms pains me as well, but not as much as the erratic beating of my heart. Thankfully though, it's not as severe as it was earlier, so I should be able to cope with this. With her face trembling against my shoulder, the next words from her mouth are the last I expected.

"I love you, Hisao. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you!" She speaks over and over again, making it clear that I get her message. I definitely received her message. My mind is blown considering that she feels the same for me that I feel for her. Unfortunately, my mind wasn't the only thing to receive the message; my heart does too. And it begins to beat even more erratically. And just like earlier, it hurts. I don't understand why though, I took the medicine earlier so surely another episode shouldn't occur. As a wave of pain comes crashing over me, I still hold Lily in my arms. I can hear my own breathing becoming more erratic too. I would have been surprised that Lily couldn't hear it, but she's not exactly focusing on listening to me right now. She continues crying against my shoulder, wailing enough for her to not hear how much discomfort I am in. "Don't go away, I beg of you. Never, ever go away. I love you, so please…!" I understand now why she's been acting like this. But I can't say any more of the subject. My chest constricts again, and I can't control my arms as they tighten their grip on Lily. I can feel just how tight they have become. Lily stops her wailing and brings a hand to my chest.

"Hisao!" She shouts as she realises that I'm having another episode. She forces herself out of my grip but makes sure to keep a hand on my shoulder so that she knows where I am. I feel my face scrunch up as I try to regain control of the situation. The sweat begins rolling off of my face and my legs crumble under me, forcefully removing Lily's hand from my shoulder as I drop to all fours, panting against the ground. "Hisao! Speak to me!" I feel Lily's hand on my head, no doubt she was trying to feel her way towards me again.

"I…" I pant continuously, my breath hitting off of the ground, not caring about the wheat that caresses my face as I attempt to steady my breathing as well as my heart. Another flicker of my heart brings me almost to the point of passing out, I force myself to lie with my back on the ground as I exasperate and try to get more air into my lungs. My body feels so tired but the pain won't let me sleep.

"Hisao!" Lily shouts again, I feel her hand brush my nose as I realise I had clenched my eyes shut during the whole ordeal. She begins to feel around my face again before she rests her hands on my forehead. "Speak to me! Please!" She repeats and after a couple of seconds, I feel my heart beginning to rest.

"I'm…" Another few breaths. "I'm alive…" It may have sounded like a joke, but I'm giving her an update on my condition. "My heart's… slowing again… to a natural… pace." I speak between breaths, no longer caring if Lily can hear my breathing. Her ears seem to be more sensitive than other people, so she'd be able to hear my breathing even if I try to mask it. Although doing that wouldn't do any good. I feel her tears on my forehead and realise that she's resting her head on mine.

"I don't understand." Her voice isn't a shout but it's not far from one. "You took your medication, right?" Her voice continues to wobble.

"Maybe it takes a while to kick in." It might explain why I've just had another episode. None of us talks as Lily continues to quietly weep probably out of concern for me. I can feel her tears mingling with my hair and realise that she must be kneeling over my prone form.

"Can you stand?" She asks out of concern, the worry in her voice is crystal clear. I hate her voice sounding like that.

"Not yet. Give me a few minutes." My breathing has returned to normal but I don't think my cells have enough oxygen in them to give them enough energy to lift me onto my feet. The minutes pass by as Lily continues to cradle my head, my sweat mixing with her tears. "Maybe I'm not meant to be happy." I say abruptly.

"Huh?" I expected Lily to be confused. I try to lift my hand into the air to check how much energy I've regained. It reaches towards the sky with a bit of effort, but I still manage to keep it in the air.

"I first found out about my arrythmia when a girl confessed to me." Lily remains silent as I tell her my story. "I was stuck in the hospital for months. The doctors said they don't know how I went so long without knowing about this condition." Sensing that I'm not finished yet, Lily remains silent. "At first, a lot of people would come and visit me. My family, my friends, the girl that confessed… But the visits became less and less. I'd realised that at that point I had become the class' project. After six weeks, only my parents would visit me regularly." I place a hand on Lily's head as I try to signal that I'm going to try to get up. "When you confessed to me, I was very happy." I'm aware of the fact that it sounds like she confessed a while ago, but it was probably only about ten minutes ago. "To know that you reciprocate my feelings is great." The girl whom cradles my head is same one who is afraid of losing people that are close to her; Akira, Hanako and me. She's genuinely worried about me. It's a strange feeling. A mix of surprise and sorrow, yet also of the deepest gratitude I think I've ever felt. The only reaction I can muster among my conflicting emotions is a calm sigh. "You idiot." I feel her body become still. "I said it before, didn't I? It's only natural to feel concerned about those around you. I'm still here, and I'll always be here, because I want to see you more each day. To share in your happiness, to support you in your sadness… But most of all, I'll still be here because I want to see your smile. Your true smile." A single gust of wind rustles the long strands of wheat, a second's silence passes, and I use it to clamber to my feet, bringing Lily up with me. "Smile when you want to smile. Cry when you want to cry. I love you, Lily. So you don't have to hold back anymore." With that, her arms clutch my back as tightly as she can without causing me too much discomfort, her face buried beside mine. Her tears fall down my back and she cries unrestrainedly as the last of her resistance melts away.

"Hisao! Hisao! Hisao!" She shouts over and over again. My heart remains calm and I'm thankful for it. It seemingly does take a while for the medicine to kick in. I close my eyes and bring my head down to her shoulder, holding her shaking frame tightly. For the second time in the space of just a few hours, this woman has seen me almost die twice. She cares deeply for me, and I for her.

"It's okay, lily. I'll never go away." All I need to do is make sure I take my medication at the right times and make sure I never skip any of them. The whole reason my two strokes with death occurred today was because I skipped out on taking my medication. I know how dangerous it is to not take them now. "I promise."


End file.
